No reference needed, I'm that good.
If you need a last minute college football costume idea, I’m here for you. Pat Forde also did this, but I promise I was giving these ideas out before his article hit ESPN. The only overlap was an SEC official and the Tebow one (but mine’s a little more offensive). So if you haven’t found a costume yet here’s what I suggest. My favorite is Lou Holtz. Dress up in ND gear, big, thick glasses, say the most ridiculous semi-related-to-football-but-not-at-all sayings like “the key to winning in college football is surrounding yourself with people that love you,” and spit on people all night. “Thhwick or Thweat” just rolls off the tongue and dribbles down the chin. I do like the SEC ref one (ref outfit, Florida shirt underneath, throw flags at people behaving well), but since Forde beat me too it (like I compete with him for readers…), I’ll let him have it. But unlike his Tebow idea (ice pack, bruised up, and halo), I say go all out! The Gator of God, Jesus Tebow! This could get offensive fast, so I’ll leave it up to your imagination and let you do this at your own discretion. But if you want to be a little more PC, you could go with Nun Tebow which my roommate just suggested. The Cody Grimm Reaper, LaGarrette Blount, Joe Paterno, Charlie Weis, and Ralph Friedgen are all fun, easy options as well. Or you could be Cavman. Wear an orange and navy jump suit with a cape and goofy hat, get a saber, but most importantly you need a horse on a stick and put your arm in a sling and tell people all night how football isn’t important to you and that education, wearing suits, and drinking cosmos are. Silly Virginia Tech serfs, let them have their football.
http://www.chronicleforums.com/Forum/showthread.php?p=4377082
This has been a scary year in college football. And just for in time for Halloween, here are the scariest things so far: the Darren Evan pre-season injury, the Hokies strength of schedule, the chaos that will ensue after the final BCS standings when you have 6 undefeated teams left, the fact that regardless of who goes to the national championship game 95% of the people who watch college football will think it’s the wrong choice, that there are 3 teams in the ACC coastal that could win the Big 10, but the ACC is still regarded as the worst conference, the hype Tebow and McCoy are still getting for the Heisman even though they have been far from outstanding, Dr. Lou, Notre Dame and Ohio State/Penn State could get undeserved at large BCS bids over teams like TCU and Boise State, horrible, horrible officiating especially in the biggest SEC games, the complete mediocrity of even the best teams this year, how bad preseason rankings are and how much weight they carry to this point, teaching your players illegal blocking then mouthing off to the classiest coach in college football who brought it up as a safety issue (I said it!), the same intro songs all season featuring Dave Matthews, the fat Mitch Hedberg looking guy who does the ACC one, and every country music singer, the fact that the Hokies are relying on two teams from North Carolina to upset GT and spring us to the ACC Championship game, Tyrod Taylor has the 4th best passer rating in the country, announcers across the country, and Holly Rowe.
But here’s something I’m not scared of at all: losing to UNC tomorrow night!
The defense is actually pretty scary. They are very talented upfront and at linebacker, and the secondary is pretty good too. They are the best defensive line as a whole the Hokies have faced. They don’t have freaks on the line such as Terrence Cody, Ndemakong Suh, Derrick Morgan, or any of the other outstanding linemen the Hokies O-line has battled, but top to bottom they are stacked. They are all big and fast. And they’re led by outstanding defensive end, Robert Quinn. This kid really gets after the QB. He has 30 tackles, 11 for a loss, which includes 7 sacks. He also has 5 hurries and 3 forced fumbles. The linebackers are just as good with Quan Sturdivant being the anchor of the entire D. He leads the team in tackles with 48, has 8.5 tackles for a loss, 2 forced fumbles and returned one for a TD. He’ll be playing for big time money soon.
This means that UNC is poised to stop the run. I’m not saying they will, but they have the personnel to do it for sure. However, they have been giving up big plays in the passing game all year. In their game against Florida State a week ago, UNC gave up 395 yards in the air to Ponder and couldn’t stop an 18 point comeback that started midway through the 3rd quarter. And so far this season Tyrod has been great! He’s 4th in the country in passer rating at 159.9. You take away the batted ball interception and hail marry against GT and he’s probably 2nd or 3rd. And he’s a QB at VT! So far this season, he has the highest rating a VT QB has had since Jon Strock. Also, our receivers are raw and the UNC secondary will be overmatched. I’m not saying we are going to light up the scoreboard, but we will get our touchdowns!
So let’s take a look at the matchup between UNC’s offense and our defense. If UNC’s defense is scary, their offense is like Casper. Coming into this year everyone was hyping how good their passing attack would be with Yates, Little, and their freshman WR weapon, Highsmith. They also have a great 1-2 punch in the backfield with Draughn and Houston. But here’s the thing, their offensive line sucks! It’s absolutely atrocious. Think back the last few years at the Hokies offensive lines and how bad they were. This one is so much worse! Because of this, their running backs aren’t pounding it on the round game, and Yates simply doesn’t have time to find his open receivers. This has led to 8 interceptions with 7 TDs, and they are giving up 2.5 sacks a game.
Here’s a quick look at how their offense has done against teams that get a BCS bid. This eliminates the routes of the Citadel, East Carolina, and Georgia Southern (which I thought was an energy provider…). The games you are left with are a win over UCONN, and losses to GT, UVA, and FSU. In the UCONN game, UNC scored a whopping 12 points on 268 yards in a game they somehow won (holding penalty in the endzone for the safety for the final score). Against GT they scored 7 points on 154 yards. Against UVA, 3 points with 174 yards. They did have a somewhat respectable game against FSU scoring 27 points with 333 yards. But that’s actually one of the better defensive performances FSU has had all season. That’s an average of 12 points and 232 total yards a game. If you throw in their garbage games, they’re still averaging less than 300 yards a game and are ranked 114th in total offense! There is only one BCS conference team below them. Any guesses? It’s UVA. Go ACC! Moral of the story: they are terrible. And we are the best defense they will face this season.
Just one last note before moving on. I rarely talk about special teams, but I wanted to point out that Dyrell Roberts is #1 in the nation in kick return average with over 40 yards per return. Suck on that C.J. Spiller. On to the Recipe for Success!
Recipe for Success:
1) No turnovers – So far this season we have been good about not giving the ball up, and UNC has been bad at forcing turnovers (and great at giving it away), but turnovers hurt in our last game, and they are the only way UNC has a chance in this game.
2) Limit the penalties – This is something we have been pretty bad at the last few games. They need to play smarter on both sides of the ball and quit getting in a bad position because of a foolish penalty.
3) Make Yates throw on us – Their pass game has been just dreadful this season, so shut down Draughn and Houston early and make them throw it. It’ll lead to turnovers and three-and-outs.
4) Protect Tyrod – UNC has a great front 7, so the offensive line and other blockers really need to step it up and protect our QB. And if they can do this it will lead to…
5) Big plays from Tyrod – They are going to stack the box and in all likelyhood they will shut down Williams to a larger extent than any game leading into this one. Taylor will need to make big plays with his arm and feet in this game to win.
Prediction:
UNC is just bad on offense… Couple that with the fact that this is the only night game in Blacksburg, we destroy people any time of day there, we’ve had an extra week to prepare, we’re out for blood after the GT game, Virgil, Williams, Graves (who was literally chopped down at the ankle against GT), and everyone else has had more time to recover, we’ve always owned Butch Davis, this is the best offense VT has had in years, we own Thursday nights, and Brent Bowden is going to pump up the crowd by playing Enter Sandman then the entire game could play out like the first half against BC. But I’ll give credit to their defense.
Hokies win 27-10. I’m about 90% sure the player of the game will be Tyrod Taylor in this one. It’ll be too hard to come by rush yards. I guess Worilds could get like 4 sacks, but I still like Tyrod.
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